How This Came About.
How Erase Your Fear came about...
As I slept, a nightmare overcame me. I dreamed that I was in my car. The air, the car, my skin, my clothes - everything was in color, the most beautiful shade of Blue. It was so beautiful that I called it Blessed Mother Blue.
As I looked up and turned my head to my right, I was overcome by fear. A Scarlet Red Bull was staring at me. Our eyes locked. The bull couldn't have been more than five feet from me. Just then, I woke up. I finally went back to sleep. Upon waking, I told my mom about that strange dream. I told my co-workers about my dream. That evening, I told the friends I was with about that dream.
At the close of the evening, I dropped off my friend Don, and as he crossed the street, he turned to me and said...
"Talk to you tomorrow, and put your seat belt on - The Right Way."
I assured him it was on. It was. The correct way. Not the slip your arm through so as not to wrinkle your shirt sort of way. It was on the right way.
It was early, somewhere around 10:30 pm, and an easy ride home, about 20 minutes, so I wasn't in any rush. "Footprints in the Sand" was on my country music station.
I stopped at the Red light. The light turned green; I looked both ways before proceeding, especially since it was late.
My Perriphial vision picked up a light coming from my right. I turned my head. The car was already upon me, maybe five feet from when I saw it. I tried to get out of the way. Well, long story short... She ran the red light; she had a red car and went through me like a Bull.
She hit me broadside and shoved me into the traffic light, which was in the center of the highway. My head hit my driver's side window. As I held my head, I tried to control the car so as not to hit anyone.
It all happened so fast. I wanted the car to stop, but it was still moving.
With my car still moving down the highway, I bounced on and off the divider, and finally, I was aware of two distinctly different voices talking to me. One said: "Roll with it," the other said:
"Put your arms over your face and pull your knees up." OK. I don't know about you, but when I hear voices such as these, and no one is actually there, I do what I'm told. Don't forget... These were two entirely different voices; they weren't with me in the car. I heard them Up Ahead Of Me. Almost as if they were trying to work things from the outside.
Right about now, I was getting the feeling of moving up high in the air.
I tried to look out of the window, but I was not able to understand why everything looked gray at that time.
I remember verbalizing the words, "Jesus, I'm in your hands." I said this as I let go of the steering wheel.
I placed my hands/arms over my face and let the words that were spoken to me take over.
I rolled with it. As I felt the car tilting to the right, instead of fighting the situation, I "Rolled" with it; my belt was on, but my body rolled with the direction the car was going, catching my body in between the two front seats and my knees up against the passenger seat.
I was in midair and felt lightheaded, and things were turning gray.
With every crash of the car coming down and hitting the pavement, my head hit only the roof or the floor between me and the pavement.
I awoke, still overturning, and remember hitting my head 3 times and thinking, "Oh ____ my teeth."
As the car stopped flipping over, it began to slide backward for what seemed like forever. All I could hear was the sound of scraping metal on the highway. I remember screaming Stop! Then, it did.
When the car stopped, the silence was deafening. I pulled myself up to survey the situation.
First, my body was half in the front seat and half in the back seat.
I could move my head - good. I could move my arms and hands - good.
I could move my legs and feet. Good. I could move my butt. Nope.
So how do I reach my phone and my spilled purse now on the floor of the passenger side? I looked around and saw the crowd standing on the side of the highway.
Many people ran outside the diner to see what had happened because the accident had happened outside a diner. I remember thinking - "Oh S_____! Mom's going to kill me."
Eight months earlier, a guy ran a stop sign and hit me straight on by turning into my lane.
Now, someone ran a red light. Seriously? Well, my next thought was that I needed to call the police, but I then noticed that my phone battery had popped off of the phone, which was on the floor. Yeah, like no one had called the police already.
Hey, I was sorta in shock - ya know.
I don't mind telling you that I was more than a little nervous. My purse was spilled, and my wallet was exposed to anyone who might come by. The teenagers lined up on the side of the highway were trying to cross to my car. That was so weird. They couldn't cross.
They were sort of bent forward like they were going to make a quick move to cross the highway but couldn't. I was starting to see stuff that wasn't there. I must have been hallucinating because the teens were there, solid and life-like, but the cars... as they went past me, were sort of opaque, sort of sheer. Yet all traffic had stopped. I was worried about my wallet. I was taking my son on our first real vacation, just him and me, and I had $700.00 in my wallet, all I had left in the world till my next paycheck. It was summer vacation, and I had recently been divorced. My job was solid, and I had been there a year and a half, so I figured we could wing it. My car was almost paid off, and I just paid two thousand bucks for repairs to keep it going for another few years. Plus, all our stuff was already in the car, ready to go. Now, our clothes and everything else we had was all over the highway. So yes, I was worried that someone was going to take my wallet.
Right then, I noticed a very tall woman walking behind the crowd. She walked to the end of the long line of bystanders and then walked diagonally across the highway right to me.
I remember looking at her intently, watching every move she made.
Not because I was frightened of her. Not because I thought she was going to mug me. I just knew she was going to help me.
In fact, she was the only one to come near my car. All those people and only one person crossed that highway.
I think using her as a focal point helped. I remember years ago hearing my mom saying that if you are ever in an accident if you get hysterical, the medics will knock you out, so I stayed super calm.
Well, what can I say? I don't like to miss anything.
This woman was very tall, taller than average.
She was wearing a white tunic top, simple blue jeans, and blue Keds sneakers. She had big fat banana curls and dimples on her cheeks, and she was black. The fact that she was black is an important one, and I'll tell you why a bit later on.
She tried to open my driver's side door. It would not move. She tried the back door. No luck.
She now went around to the other side. She got into the back seat and reached up front to unlock the door. She got out of the car and then got into the front seat.
She picked up my purse and placed it on my lap, then started to put everything that had spilled out into it. She was almost finished, and all I could keep saying to her was, "Please tell me this wasn't my fault, please tell me this wasn't my fault."
With that, she stopped what she was doing and looked me right in the eye, and her finger in my face, quite determined that I should remember what she was going to say.
She said... "The accident was Not your fault; the police were already called and on their way, and you're going to be fine."
She put my wallet into my purse, put the battery onto my phone, and placed that also into my purse. Then... She sat there and held my hand.
I looked at her. There was silence. She didn't do anything but look straight ahead.
I looked right at her, and I said... "Please tell Jesus that I said thank you."
With that, I heard the sirens screaming. Now a policeman was getting into the car. She was getting out.
My mind was staggering as my thoughts were racing: "How is she getting out while he is getting in?" The car is a Chevy Lumina. It's not that big.
I said to the Policeman, "Please don't let her leave; I want to thank her for staying with me." The cop was like: "There was somebody with you, where?" He spoke this as he was looking into the back seat.
I said," No, not in the backseat; she's right there. Don't let her leave."
"Where?" he said once more. I told him I was looking at her outside by my front right fender.
He told me we could argue about it later, but he needed to place a blanket over my head so they could break some glass to get me out. He asked me if I was bleeding anywhere. I told him that my head felt like a hot river pouring over it. He checked. No Blood. Then told me that the nerve endings were most likely all jumbled up, then asked me if I had lost consciousness and if I was aware that I overturned four, possibly five times.
I told him I remembered everything going gray, opening my eyes, and hitting the ground three times.
I could feel my teeth smashing together and breaking in my mouth.
So I'm still looking at her. The blanket goes on. The blanket came off, and she was still there. I blinked my eyes... Then She was gone.
Shortly thereafter, I was placed on a board. The road was covered in gasoline. I had just filled up the tank that evening and was later told that was the only reason why the gas tank didn't explode.
I kept telling the officer that my life was in my purse, so please don't misplace it. He said he wouldn't, and he also ensured the Medics knew that. I heard him say, "Make sure nothing happens to that pocketbook."
I must have passed out in the ambulance. The last thing I remembered about that ride was the woman medic on board said she had to cut my bra off to get me ready for the hospital. I protested, but she said she would cut it down the middle so I could have it restitched.
Well, wouldn't you pass out if someone told you that you're brand new, just wore it for the first time, Frederick's of Hollywood Bra was going to be cut in two? I did.
I woke up being rushed into the trauma center at St. Joseph's Hospital in Paterson, NJ.